Being & Doing

I admit that I have lost the practice of multi-tasking.  For thirty years, my life was a big juggle.  Within that big juggle, there were other mini-juggles.  Every situation I found myself in involved an enormous amount of multi-tasking, that, with time, became natural... Robotically natural.  Do, do, do... I was always doing something to accomplish something, to be somewhere, to impress/avoid someone... I was always busy doing, because I was afraid of just being.

Fortunately, I see that now.  As events unfolded in my life and allowed me to have loooong periods of self-reflection, I, reluctantly, admitted that I had ceased to be, I had become a do-er.  I truly felt that the Earth would not make its way around the Sun if I weren't doing something in my own life (how presumptuous!). 

Yesterday, I had one of the biggest realizations of my life.. I've let go.  I struggled at first.. Letting go is not easy.  Not-knowing is not easy.  The great paradox of it all is that the more I have surrendered to the unknowing-ness and allowed myself to "let go and let God", things LITERALLY have been handed to me or been placed on my lap effortlessly. 

One thing is to read about the theory of letting go and trust that it will all fall into place, and another is the act of giving your trust wholeheartedly to the Universe and be certain that the road never traveled is the only road to travel... I haven't multi-tasked in, well, a long time... The great thing is I don't miss it.  I enjoy my momentous focus.. One breath at a time.. I follow my intuition to what feels right and act upon that calling.. I'm no longer an unfocused, multi-tasking do-er.  I know with certainty that just by being, things will get worked out.. The Earth will not stop its solar rotation (Pheew!).

The discernment between being and doing is the key... There's a time to be and a time to do... Although, I strive to get to a point where just being is enough doing.

Astoundingly Grateful

The first words that came to mind as I started to type were, "I'm astonished at the events that have unfolded in the past week."  As soon as I started typing that statement, it didn't ring true.  To say that I am astonished is to contradict everything I'm about to write in this blog.  The correct word is "GRATEFUL."  The events that have unfolded feel part of my life's plan.  So, I'm not astonished, I'm simply grateful they are manifesting in my life.

In December, when I broke my leg and felt completely defeated, I heard a voice speaking to me saying, "Don't judge or attach yourself to what's happening around you... Wait and see."  I recognized that voice and trusted it.  I waited and eventually, I saw.  I saw with my heart's eyes that my latest test was of very significant value.  From then on, steadily, the Universe has conspired in my favor and at first, I do admit, I was astonished at all the beautiful gifts and wishes that were coming true in my life.  The astonishment, however, only detached me from the harmonious flow in which these gifts were appearing, and slowed their manifestations.  I didn't realize it then.

In June, after attending Hay House's Writers Workshop and meeting incredible light beings, I was overwhelmed and scared of the endless possibilities that lay ahead of me.  I held on tight to an "unworthy" belief of myself, doubting that I would ever be capable of achieving anything I aspired to.  After coming home, Facebook re-united many of the attendees of that workshop and I began to see that maybe I had some potential.  Camile Araujo - The Voice Within was created.  It was time to start honoring my beautiful, guiding voice. 

Over a month ago, I started getting some "coaching" from Vanessa Talbot to optimize my potential as a writer.  This coaching has not only helped me soar to new levels with the writing, but with my life as well.  Once, through an email, she mentioned the Universal Laws, and if I minded working with her following those guidelines.  Because of that mention, I bought a book which is a textbook on The Universal Laws and what they mean.  For a bit less than a month, I've tried to live my life while applying those laws everyday.  Not to my surprise, the situations that have risen from unexpected occasions, since then, are nothing more than confirmation that I'm on the right track.

Last week was a bit of an emotional high for me.  I have crossed paths with amazing human beings, that I know make part of my continued-extended family... for ever.  At first, I felt overwhelmed and, yes, astounded, however, within days, I remembered to apply the knowledge I had gained in the past month and I surrendered to everything that was happening.  It was clear.  Life is unfolding exactly the way it is supposed to.  Amazing grace.  Einstein once said "There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle."  Life is a miracle in itself, so why wouldn't everything that happens in it be a miracle as well?

So, you see, astonishment no longer describes the feelings inside of me when I see miracles happening everyday.  I'm just astoundingly grateful for them.

Here & Now

When I was younger, I remember going to Rite Aid on the corner of Meridian Ave & Lincoln Rd. on Miami Beach, and standing inside reading every magazine on the magazine stand, but purchasing none.  I would read all the teeny-bopper ones, specially the horoscope section, hoping to read what my future had in store for me.  When I didn't like what a horoscope would say, I would close the magazine and look for another, until I found what I wanted to "hear". 

I have always been a very impatient and anxious person.  I used to always ponder every action and lose sleep over the infinite what-ifs that invaded my head at night, if I made one decision over another.  It drove me nuts.  As the years passed, I discovered the self-help isle in book stores, and then, instead of standing inside Rite Aid, I would spend countless afternoons inside Barnes & Nobles (to name one) and skim through dozens of books per afternoon spent there.  I wanted answers.  I wanted them handed to me, a guided map with an exact path to follow.

It wasn't until close to a year ago that I discovered the art of living in the NOW.  I had had moments in life where I had the pleasure of experiencing it, but never knew how to hold on to it.  Now, I know the joy of living in it.  I must say that I still have slip-ups once in a while when I wonder an occasional what-if, but with much less frequency than before.  I'm learning to let go.  Let go of the ghosts of the pasts and let go of the burdens of the future.  It is what it is.  What I'm practicing every day is the joy of acting in the here and the now.  Nothing else is important. 

It doesn't matter what will happen with whatever decision I make, the important thing is that I make a decision NOW.  Even if the decision is to not make a decision.  It's an awareness that I know, no matter what I choose will lead me to the correct path with its correct circumstance.  It's empowering to feel that you're responsible for your actions and also embrace that responsibility as a duty to yourself and others around you.  When you act HERE & NOW, you allow others to see that fear is not playing a part in your decision process, you're acting out of love and respect for yourself and the flow of your own life. 

May the Universe bless infinite wisdom on all of you to always act HERE & NOW as well.

BE VULNERABLE

While I was on my wonderful, spiritually ground-breaking cruise and I had my 3 day of walking through the valley of the shadow of death, this message popped in my head:  BE VULNERABLE. 

A little history on my ability of feeling vulnerable, acting vulnerable or being vulnerable:  it's non-existent. 

I learned early on that I needed to suck things up and get through stuff.  Emotions were non-practical and they got in the way.  As I got older, I never realized how much this attitude set me back.  I hardly ever cried in front of people, and I was always the one EVERYONE came to with their problems, but I never felt I had anyone I could go to with my deepest, innermost feelings.  Although, I am sure, there was a multitude of people ready and willing to help me or hear me out whenever I needed.  The problem was that I just never knew how to act vulnerable. 

Vulnerability was a feeling that terrified me.  It made me feel weak, not in control and foolish.  How foolish do I feel now....

In hindsight, I see that every experience I had until four years ago hindered me from growing emotionally, spiritually and feeling free.  The past four years have been challenging, only because, I never allowed the outside world see my vulnerability while I felt it. 

Receiving that message was so freeing, and so wonderfully ground-breaking, because, I understand the power of feeling vulnerable.  It allows you to grow, to explore yourself in depths you never otherwise would, and most of all it allows others to come into your world and pour a bit of themselves into your life.  It's remarkably different how my views have changed. 

I still have my moments, but just remembering the message I received... I feel recharged and infinitely blessed.  

My name is Camile, and sometimes, I feel very vulnerable.

Looking back...

When I was 18 years old, I read the book Many Lives, Many Masters. This book, single handedly, changed my life and my understanding of life. From then on, I began to search for my mission, my purpose, and my reason. After this book, many more came along that quenched my search for this knowledge, until one day I was put in a position where I needed to put into practice everything I learned from all these books. Every day, I search for new knowledge and realize that the more I learn, the more I realize I do not know anything.


My thirst for answers and knowledge is insatiable. For a long time, I tried to get an appointment with Dr. Brian Weiss at his South Miami practice for a session of regression into my past lives. In the beginning, his wait list was six months long, and now he does not accept any new patients. Last year sometime, however, I received an email from Hay House, Inc. saying that Dr. Brian Weiss was going on tour, giving seminars around the country. Fort Lauderdale is one of his stops. This Saturday, a friend and I will attend his seminar on reincarnation. I cannot contain my excitement.

I cannot wait to spill my guts about my experience and everything I learn from it.

This is just another prove that our thoughts are so powerful, and everything we ask for comes into motion to us as soon as we make ourselves available to it. Amazing, powerful energy.

Imperfectly Beautiful

Some months ago, a friend of mine was describing her trip to San Francisco to me and she used the words "imperfectly beautiful" to describe the city. Those words stuck with me. They stuck because for the first time I heard out loud a truth about life in general. People in general as well. Beauty IS imperfect. Imperfections are what make things beautiful. I loved my newfound enlightenment.

For as long as I can remember, I incessantly tried to achieve perfection in every facet of my life. Such a tiring job, but nevertheless, I would try to find ways to make my pursuit of perfection easier and successful. As I found ways of being "perfect" in one area, other areas would suffer the blunt. At the time, these sacrifices seemed worthy, and I lived my life like that, sacrificing some things in order to be perfect or have perfection in others. I sacrificed family relationships, friendships, sometimes my health, character and love.

Then... one morning I woke up and realized I was paralyzed and that everything in my life had changed, much against my will. I no longer fit the picture perfect image I painted of myself in my head. For a long time, a very long time, I felt inadequate, imperfect and unworthy. Never beautiful. I actually stopped looking in the mirror. I began to detach from my physical self and focus on me. For the first time in my life, I got to know ME. I stopped defining myself by what I looked like and what I did. I was just Camile.

The process was not easy, although exhilarating, because for the first time, I was giving ME a chance, there were still some parts of ME that I was not too proud of. Facing the faults was hard, but recognizing where they came from and taking responsibility for them have been an incredible experience. Slowly, I have learned to love ME and forgive ME. In turn, it makes it easier to just be ME. After the period of getting to know ME again, I learned to love ME inside and out. Especially love my imperfections. On the outside, I appreciate every scar on my body; they reflect all my trials and tribulations and are there to remind me to be humble and grateful for an extra day. The same goes for the inside; every scar is outlasted by a memory that brings me joy and a feeling of love.

My search for perfection continues today, but I look for a different kind of perfect. I realize now that my spirit is eternal, and that is the real ME. I look to perfect ME, while being kind and patient to ME at the same time. This search requires no other sacrifice; it is a search of love and understanding. Every bump on the road that I may encounter is to endure the lesson. I am not perfect and I have yet much to learn, however, I recognize that all my imperfections make ME imperfectly beautiful.

His Holiness The Dalai Lama - II

I don't even know where to start. Seeing The Dalai Lama was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. He is a well of wisdom and humility. The audience hung on to his every word and although at times he had difficulty expressing himself in English, his personal assistant would help him, and the message never changed, love. Unfortunately, I was only able to attend the morning show, which was on Global Responsibility.

His approach to life is simple. We are all the same. The moment we look within and hang on to our basic moral values, we will learn to love ourselves first and love our brothers and sisters - the rest of humanity. Hearing the Dalai Lama speak was refreshing. His eternal patience with our western culture and his profound knowledge of the human spirit shone right through his aura. He humbly got on stage, sat on his chair, took off his flip flops, crossed his legs and waited until all the formal introductions were over, before he filled our hearts and minds with his experiences and taught us that love and respect have no boundaries.

At the time of the Q & A's, he put on his little red visor and answered each question thoroughly. The first question was "Who do you admire?" His answer touched me and my friend deeply, because of its simplicity and truth. He said "I admire my mother. She taught me to be kind, because that is what her face always showed, kindness."

Until Tuesday, I never defined myself as anything religious. Although, I am constantly searching for spirituality and trying to live my life by the laws of unconditional love, if I had to choose a philosophy to live by, it would most definitely be Buddhism. Its way of living rings true in my heart. And, after hearing the Dalai Lama, even more so.

Thank you so much, Nancy, for thinking of me when you got your tickets. I am honored that you gave me that opportunity and forever grateful. It was an unforgettable experience!

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

Six months ago, I made a change in my life. I began to educate myself in Eastern Philosophies. Along with reading and researching, I began to practice meditation with Yoga Nidra. It has been an amazing experience. Even though I slipped off my positive pattern for a while, the moment I started it again, I came right back to the place inside myself where I find all my answers. I must admit that it has been a challenge to remain completely focused these past couple of months and truly believe that things will get better. However, I practice meditation relentlessly, I figured that if it does not do me any good, it won't do me any harm either. At the end of all my sessions, though, I come out refreshed. Except lately, that I caught a horrible cold, my breathing is off and I can't seem to quiet my mind... I guess it's true what they say... "Mental health begins with physical health."

Anyway, as I drowned myself into Eastern wisdom, I began to watch many documentaries on Buddhism, Hinduism, The Tao, etc., and their respective teachers. In the process, I decided I was going to go to India for two weeks to a silent spiritual retreat. I befriended two people from the place I chose, who are two of the most loving human beings I have ever met, and although we have only met through email, whenever we communicate I can feel their love emitting from the computer screen. They are the owners of Z Meditation, located in Dharamsala, India.

While watching a documentary about H.H. The Dalai Lama, I discovered that he resides in Dharamsala and decided to write his office an email requesting a private audience with him. Much to my surprise, they replied, denying my request very politely due to H.H. health and age issues. Ironically, I was supposed to be coming back from India tomorrow. I couldn't go due to the unfortunate events of the past couple of months. About a month ago, my friend Nancy posted on her facebook status that she was going to see The Dalai Lama, because he was going to be in Florida for a visit. Well.... to make a long story longer... I'm going to see him too!!! My wonderful friend Nancy got me a ticket to go with her to the morning session, and I didn't have to travel 5,000 miles to Dharamsala to see him after all. Although, I still plan to attend the retreat at a later date.

Meeting H.H. will be an honor and a complete humbling experience. Aside from that, I got the clear to start weight-bearing on my leg again, so walking on braces is no longer a distant dream, but a very near reality... finally! It's been a long, arduous road... Sometimes I fell victim to my mind's games and tricks, but it seems like things are slowly falling back into place.

I'll be back very soon to talk about my Dalai Lama experience.