I admit that I have lost the practice of multi-tasking. For thirty years, my life was a big juggle. Within that big juggle, there were other mini-juggles. Every situation I found myself in involved an enormous amount of multi-tasking, that, with time, became natural... Robotically natural. Do, do, do... I was always doing something to accomplish something, to be somewhere, to impress/avoid someone... I was always busy doing, because I was afraid of just being.
Fortunately, I see that now. As events unfolded in my life and allowed me to have loooong periods of self-reflection, I, reluctantly, admitted that I had ceased to be, I had become a do-er. I truly felt that the Earth would not make its way around the Sun if I weren't doing something in my own life (how presumptuous!).
Yesterday, I had one of the biggest realizations of my life.. I've let go. I struggled at first.. Letting go is not easy. Not-knowing is not easy. The great paradox of it all is that the more I have surrendered to the unknowing-ness and allowed myself to "let go and let God", things LITERALLY have been handed to me or been placed on my lap effortlessly.
One thing is to read about the theory of letting go and trust that it will all fall into place, and another is the act of giving your trust wholeheartedly to the Universe and be certain that the road never traveled is the only road to travel... I haven't multi-tasked in, well, a long time... The great thing is I don't miss it. I enjoy my momentous focus.. One breath at a time.. I follow my intuition to what feels right and act upon that calling.. I'm no longer an unfocused, multi-tasking do-er. I know with certainty that just by being, things will get worked out.. The Earth will not stop its solar rotation (Pheew!).
The discernment between being and doing is the key... There's a time to be and a time to do... Although, I strive to get to a point where just being is enough doing.
2 comments:
That's a big step Camile, Congratulations! Most people do not understand that if you are not connected to your "being," that your mind, or even your ego are free to run your life. It is a little like letting a child drive your car. You do not know the damage they might do.
If you are connected to your "being" then there is an underlying intelligence behind the wheel, so the trip is bound to be better one.
Dan
P.S. Sorry, your blog would not let me add my WordPress ID. It kept adding something and then said it was illegal, so I just left my name. I thought you should know so you could address it if it was a problem.
Thank you, Dear Dan... Indeed, I also feel this is a big step.. As I told Vanessa(Talbot) two days ago... "I feel as if I've taken one step up on the spiritual ladder and at the same time, my ego has step down..." I'm ready to serve and the feeling of trust and love I feel towards the Universe and that it will bring me to the right path is irrevocable. I feel truly blessed. Thank you for always reading and your supportive comments. Love always.
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