When the student is ready, the master appears - Buddhist Proverb

Sometime last week I logged on to facebook and there was this post...

"That it isn't for me to "accept" someone for who they are. Because that's a judgement that I know better n have deemed them "worthy" of my acceptance, that I've judged them by my worldview imposing who I am on and over who they are. that's just bollocks. I'm not here to "accept" people, I'm here to love them just the way they are, not change, "save", educate or improve. they know how to live their life n I know mine." -Hildi Rowland 

I have heard Dr. John Demartini say this many times (in his own words, of course), but it never sunk in the way it did when I read it off of Hildi's wall.  The impact of integrating this into my life has been monumental.  This post was my breakthrough.  Why didn't I get it earlier? I asked myself.  Perhaps, I was not ready before.  Such simple truth now that I feel it in me.  I was stuck on being grateful for so long and forgot the next step.. Love it all.  There is a reason why Dr. Demartini teaches his method and guides us to the Thank You, I Love You state.. I was stopping at the Thank You, I Accept You, state. 

This puzzle piece dissolved a lot of uncertainty and opened up my heart in a way that humbled me with the understanding that when you genuinely feel gratitude and love towards anyone or anything, you see yourself in everything around you.  A realization that everything and everyone around you are here to remind you just that... The interconnection we all have with one another, and the beautiful gift that that is.  

Hildi lives thousands of miles away from me, but because of the above post, I feel her presence in my everyday life as if we were roommates.  With this profound new level of awareness and perception, I understand why I don't "miss" some people who I love dearly, even though some live very far or have passed on.  The love keeps them alive in me, and the universe brings "them" to me in other forms.  


What once felt like an unbreakable wall inside my heart has vanished and the possibilities that pop up are nothing short of extraordinary.  With new knowledge, comes new accountability, and since this enormous breakthrough I have not stopped "collapsing" more walls that keep me from loving all as is... The more I feel myself in others and others in me, I lose track of boundaries, limits and parameters.  It's an universal sense that the two cents I love to share with the world matter.  And, so on with every being... We are all in this together, and the illusion of separateness and differences does not affect the whole in itself.  It just creates misguided or lopsided perceptions upon the participants of this huge ball of love.  (that's how i visually see it – a mass of energy leaping towards infinity together, some particles trading roles with others, in order to carry on the evolution of our true nature). 

What a journey! Wow! Thank you, Hildi! I feel you and yes, we are having a special connection.. I'm loving it! 

Integrating All Of You in Two Phrases - Thank You and I Love You

As my soul evolves and my consciousness expands, I am learning that I have yet to learn so much, and at the same time, a fire inside of me burns with more intensity on this quest of knowledge, authenticity and wholeness.  

It is no coincidence that once I set out to expand, learn and love with total intention and desire I came across Dr. John F. Demartini and his teachings.  Having considered myself a perpetual student of life, the first time I heard him speak, I heard someone speaking my language.  I felt as if I had found the teacher I had been looking for since I was seven years old.  To prepare me for this meeting, teachings and paradigm shift, the Universe brought forth to me other loving lessons which helped me integrate all that was being taught with a bit of a practical glimpse.  As Dr. Demartini expresses "things are on the way not in the way," previous events in my life and an unconventional outlook of those events allowed me to "get" him and devour every word he had to teach.  

I have expressed in two previous blogs how profound my experiences were in his signature program The Breakthrough Experience.  I participated twice and recently just finished the Demartini Method Training Program, which makes me now a Trained Demartini Method Facilitator.  The incredible insights, connections and awareness that have begun since my first Breakthrough Experience are immeasurable.  The truth is.. "To speak is to lie."  (As I have heard so many times during the training.) There are no words that do justice to what the whole experience is about.  It literally is a BREAKTHROUGH.  

On my plane ride back, I read over materials, took notes, used the Demartini Method, and listened to Dr. Demartini's CDs.  As I was landing, I closed my eyes, centered myself and asked my soul to guide me in writing a blog about what the experience was about.  What I have heard repeatedly as loud as I heard it the first time from Dr. Denise Nadler, Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator and Trainer, is THANK YOU & I LOVE YOU.

I am grateful for the experience because it deepened the certainty inside myself to serve others.  I am grateful to have learned to use a tool that can assist others to see their own magnificence by owning all parts of themselves, the ones we perceive as "good" and the ones we perceive as "bad."  I am grateful for the people that have represented support and challenge in my journey and continue to do so, for they are both forms of love manifesting itself to help me own all that I truly am.  A huge thank you to all the attendees in that room, because I felt I was amongst family - an Earthly family.  I am specially grateful to Dr. Denise Nadler who represented a big challenge to me and in doing so, this perception of her pushed me harder to want to master the Demartini Method, and to Dr. Demartini for sharing this wisdom and desiring for us to learn it and spread it to others.  To my mom, brother, sister, Josie, Deise and my daughter a heartfelt thank you for facilitating my going to the training and learning new ways to master my life and expand my soul.  And lastly but not least, I am grateful to myself for trusting the inspiring voice inside of me and following this inspiration with an open heart.  

Thank you and I love you are the only true ways to manifest what I feel inside.  

Naughty and Nice

As I move on forward, sideways, and sometimes backwards in the path of my own life, I have learned that I am both, naughty and nice.  For over 30 years I thought that my "job" was to eradicate the naughtiness in me and let niceness come through full blown.  I felt as if it were my duty to be nice without trying hard.  Live in a state of nirvana, achieve a state of complete compassion and be the walking definition of positivity. Well, I have come to a well thought-out conclusion...fuck that.

This discovery of mine started last year when I began integrating the word authenticity in my vocabulary to describe my own life... "being true to myself."  Then, this year, the revelation was confirmed.  Not only do I have ALL of the traits inside of me, I am still an extraordinary person because of it.  There is a great quote that I came across a long time ago, written by an unknown author, and the line of the quote that caught my attention at the time was the following:

"...You have to take the good with the bad.. never regret..."

I am all the traits you can think of and possibly a little bit more.  And, no matter what name someone might call me, I may just reply, "Yes, I'm that, too."  I understand that I oscillate towards some traits at times, and other times towards others.  For a very long time, I battled with myself when I felt pulled towards what we, as society, perceive as "negative."  I remember the first year that I got hurt and flew to Brazil to have tracheal surgery (I did that because the doctors I had here at the time wanted to butcher me in order to fix my tracheal stenosis problem, in Brazil, my family found a doctor who fixed the problem without any scalpels and the results were immediate.)  While in Brazil, the surgery kept on being post-poned due to several infections I had in my body at the time.  My will to fight was running very thin and all around me, people would say repeatedly, "You are so strong."  Unable to talk at the time, my eyes would tear up, and I just wanted to yell at that absurdity.. "I AM NOT STRONG.  I JUST HAVE NO CHOICE, BUT TO TAKE WHAT'S BEEN GIVEN TO ME, AT THIS TIME."  I was pissed off, not strong.

Going back to the time when I was in Brazil waiting for my tracheal surgery, I reflect on how every single trait existent in the world has been inside me all along.  I just repressed the "bad" ones for fear of being judged.  During the same time, a long term friendship came to an end, and it was then, that it became obvious that I AM a carrier of all traits.  A couple of emails have been exchanged with this person, the most recent one is from April of this year, the list below depicts how this person views me:

• Liar
• Passive-aggressive
• Conniving
• Manipulative
• Jealous
• Shallow
• Sad
• Desperate
• Ill-Intentioned
• Stupid
• Ridiculous 

Is this person wrong? No. From this person's perspective I am all of those things.  Perception is definitely reality, and this is who I am in his/hers.  Interesting, however, is that at the same time I received emails from this person pointing out these traits of mine, someone else at the same exact moment was boosting me up for being:

• Trustworthy
• Inspirational
• Kind
• Compassionate
• Enlightened
• Happy
• Positive
• Optimistic
• Focused
• Great mother
• Beautiful
• Fighter

Am I naughty? Yes.  Am I nice? Yes.  And I love who I am.  I am grateful for the person that I have turned out to be.  I am grateful to those in my corner and to those who remind me of the "nemesis'"traits.. At the end, all of the traits, whether they are labeled positive or negative, balance me.  And, that is my ultimate quest now... EQUILIBRIUM.  An atom is not an atom without its positive and negative sub-particles.  We are the same.  Good to know we are whole and in sync with the Universe just the way we are.

How about you, are you naughty or nice?

Breaking Through (Part Deux)

This past weekend, I attended The Breakthrough Experience with Dr. John Demartini again.  It was my second experience with him, and an even more profound one than the first.

The first time I attended the seminar, I was overwhelmed.  There was so much fascinating information and the curiosity of how it would all end dominated my thoughts.  I learned a lot, I experienced something completely "God-like" at the end as he guaranteed, and most importantly I gained some clarity of where I wanted my life to go.  Once the seminar was over, I diligently worked with the workbook on my own and did every exercise after every chapter of his book also called The Breakthrough Experience.  I could see that things were already working for me, things were on my way, not in my way.  I lost the touch on using the Demartini Method, but I understood my highest priorities in life and made sure that the goals I set every day for myself were congruent to these priorities.

Then, I attended the Breakthrough Experience again.  I cannot emphasize how truly grateful I am for the experience.  It deepened and rooted my certainty of the path I am on.  It revitalized my awareness to congruency and synchronicities.  Once again I experienced the mystical experience at the end and the feeling of my heart exploding with love.  How does it get any better?

John Demartini has made an impact on my life in the most profound way.  Through his teachings, I have learned that I am worthy of everything the Universe has to offer me.  I emphasize EVERYTHING.  The good with the bad, the happy with the sad, the positive with the negative, the infatuations with the resentments.. It is all there for a purpose and with some Demartini Method collapsing, it doesn't take long for me to see the connection, the order of the divine plan.. Pretty fantastic.

Next month, I'm off to Houston to participate in his training program and become able to provide the same type of assistance to anyone who carries "baggage" in any of the 7 areas of life.. Spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, familial, social and physical.  I am looking forward to a week of learning some good tools and putting them to practice to help the world!

Living My Element With Sylwia - Day 77-89

I'm back on track, even though I'm scavenging for any little energy inside of me to begin an exercise program.  I remember that in my last talk with Sylwia, we decided that would be the only goal for me to work on these past two weeks.  I think about it daily, but really don't do much about it.

I have all the excuses in the book .. pain, tiredness, drowsiness from medication, boo boo on booty, not enough time, etc.  It's pretty much endless.

I realized, however, that I miss it.  Exercising is part of my genetic make-up.  I miss running.  It used to be so effortless, I think I still have not committed to anything that replaces the runner's high, thus making me skeptical to start anything else... I think it's something that I thought was nothing, when all along Sylwia was right - she knew there was some blockage between me and exercise, before I was even able to recognize it myself.  She suggested I collapse exercising (Demartini style), I resisted, but I have to agree she is on to something with her suggestion.

It's pretty amazing how one thing we may think so insignificant has such powerful effects on us.

I'm just grateful for Sylwia.  In every way.

<3

Living My Element With Sylwia - Day 51-62

This is the longest that I have gone without reporting anything about my new way of eating and living, both on the blog and in my personal journal.  It's been so long that I pretty much forgot to pay attention.  These 11 days were a bit anxiety filled.  I have been faced to make some decisions and while I hit my head on the wall wondering what to do.. I ate comfort food.  In my case, ICE CREAM.  Yes, I scream for ice cream all the time.  Since I made up my mind and chose the scary route.. The need for comfort food or escape food vanished.  Whether or not the choice I made is the right choice (it is in my heart), it doesn't matter.. I feel better.  I think the worst thing that happened was my immobilization for fear of making the "wrong" choice, instead of just making any choice, period.

Coincidentally, today, beautiful Sylwia came back from a trip to South Africa.  She attended an amazing Dr. Demartini seminar down there - Prophecy I.  I can't wait to chat with her tonight and catch up on what she learned, and what I should be looking forward to, since he's coming to Miami in October to teach that same seminar.  I can't afford Australia or South Africa yet.  Perhaps, when Anastasia is a bit older.. We'll follow Dr. Demartini around the globe too!

I Don't Believe In Fairy Tales

I was going to start this blog by giving the definition of love from the dictionary.  As I read through a couple of them, I cringed.  This might come off a bit cynical, however, there is a reason why I disagree with the way we, society as a whole, have learned to portray love or perceive it.  The best definition I came across is "Love is light."  Happily ever after, no I don't think so.  Why are we so concerned with the ever after, instead of now?  More importantly, do we really believe we can maintain a state of "happiness" for ever?  Happiness, to me, does not mean love.  Happiness is an emotion.  Love encompasses all emotions.  It accepts all.

We, elusively, seek after these beliefs without paying attention to what is happening right NOW.  I write a lot about being present, here, now.  If we stop and think for a minute, there is no future.  Time is a concept that is perceived by our little brains to give sense to a chronology of events.  Future events don't exist, the past is part true/part imagination, all we have is the now.  Why not invest our energy and learn to be present every second.  No matter what you're going through, really, no matter what it is, (and those of you who know me and know a bit about me, understand that I have earned some type of right to say this) you're okay.  Nothing lasts FOR EVER, even happiness.

I'm not saying that you can't be happy.  What I'm saying is that we can be EVERYTHING, at different points in our lives.  The real secret is HONORING OUR TRUTH at every single moment, better yet, at every single fraction of a moment, deep in the core of our human bodies.. We are light.  I don't even say this in a theological or philosophical sense.  I mean it in its physical sense.  Our atoms contain light at the center of their positive and negative sub-particles.  Now.. getting a bit philosophical and theological, light is the source of all energy.  Without sun light there would be no life on Earth.  Some people, actually, have mood swings based on how sunny it is outside.  Honoring our truths takes a lot of courage and hard work.  Who wants to appear all vulnerable to the world?  Literally wear your "heart" on your sleeve?  It's a hard concept to understand, until you begin to do it wholeheartedly.  Until I started to honor who I was at every moment, pay attention to every sign I received from my subconscious, and trust my intuition, I was doing myself a disservice.

The reason I wrote about not believing in fairy tales is because I believe that unless having a "fairy tale" type of life feels true to you, then we don't need it to attain the state of happiness/love we so much seek after.  We are already there.  All the time.  Even fairy tale characters have their ups and downs, just ask Shrek and Fiona.  When one person finds another person who allows them to be who they are, while maintaining truth to their essence, then, I believe there's a balanced relationship.  Where two people can agree to disagree, grow from one another and let each other soar.  That is my idea of a real life "fairy tale."


"Love is a synthesis in space and a synchronicity in time of complimentary opposite emotions" - Dr. John Demartini

Breaking Through...

About 2 weeks ago, I attended a life changing seminar.  It was given by Dr. John Demartini, and it was called The Breakthrough Experience.  I had no idea who Dr. Demartini was up until 3 days prior to the seminar.  My friend, Carla, told me about him being in town and speaking at various locations, she saw him speak on a Tuesday, and I went to see him on Thursday.  At the end of the evening, he spoke about his upcoming seminar, a 2 day event that took place at the Hyatt Regency in Coral Gables.  Awed by his knowledge, certainty and charisma, I signed up.  Little did I know that the 2 day seminar would have such an impact on me.

That following Saturday, the seminar was set to start at 8 am promptly.  Of course, I was fashionably late.  I soon realized that he was in Miami, so he expected a couple of us to be late... As we filled up the room, and the empty seats behind the tables that were ligned up in a U around him, Dr. Demartini jumped right into business.  That man can talk.  He can teach.  Saturday ended at 2 am Sunday morning.  The first half of the day, all theories, which while you are learning them, you feel confused as heck.  The second half is the application of everything he teaches and as promised the end result is purely MYSTICAL. 

Sunday began at around 10 am and it ended at 8 pm.  Another day full of insightful experiences and unloading of emotional baggage.  I learned things related to physics, metaphysics, philosophy, theology, mathematics that I truly believe I would not have learned anywhere else.  The experience I had was incredible.  I felt changes in myself right away, in many levels, mentally, emotionally, physically, physiologically and spiritually.  The best part of it all is that I continue to use what I learned every single day.  I am re-reading the workbook that was given to us and also his book with the same title The Breakthrough Experience.  So much to learn and so effective.

I, probably, sound like an infomercial for Dr. Demartini, but I have never been inspired as I have been by this man.  He has a purpose and he fulfills his purpose everyday, and his life is his own testimonial that we can achieve anything we truly are passionate about.  I felt that sharing this was worth a blog.  His work is worth a blog.  Hope his knowledge can inspire many of you, my readers, as it has inspired me.