Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

After much thought, I have decided to write you this letter. It has been sitting in a small corner of my mind and heart yearning to get out while I fought the urge to write it. As the new year arrived, I decided to approach life as if each day was my last day on Earth. With this new approach and perspective, many things have changed and shifted. One of them being my entanglement with you.

As I celebrate the 6th year anniversary of my "alive day", I ponder on the valuable lessons that have come since that fateful night. I must say that there is not one lesson, thought or feeling that does not include you. My intention with this letter is a very simple one. I only want to express to you something that I think I have failed to mention throughout these six years in two simple words:  THANK YOU.

Recently, from third party channels, I heard that you were expecting. My instant reaction was to pick up the phone and call you and rejoice with you the fact that you were going to take the most wonderful journey of your entire life.... motherhood. In that same split second, my memories traveled back to our high school days which were filled with girlish promises of being each other's maid of honor and godmothers to our children.. I remembered what you wrote on my yearbook that you didn't want to open it up and show to your kids who your best-friend was, you wanted them to meet her in person. At the same time, while reliving those distant memories, I remembered the first time I held my own daughter in my arms and wished for you to be there. I wished for you to meet her and see how she brought out in me the same qualities you did: determination, self-assurance and love.

As our words have grown harsher with each other with each communication we exchange, I still want you to know that in my heart you will always live as a friend, a confidant, family, a soul sister. All of that which you think of me is true, the good and bad. I am reverent in repeating, however, that because of our harsh words and your bluntness to expose my truth, I found IT. I found the truth inside of me. The one I worked so hard to hide all the time. The one I secretly admired from you. The one you never shone away from. The courage to be authentic with yourself and with others always. It took me a little more than 35 years, but I think I'm on my way now.

If tomorrow was my last day on our beautiful planet, I'd want you to know that you will always be one of the most important people in my life. You played a pivotal role in shaping the person I am today and I thank you truly for that. I love you dearly still and will always pretend that one day we will meet each other for coffee and talk about our lives, kids and future dreams as if we were just picking up from yesterday. If tomorrow was my last day, I'd want to say to you that I always admired your courage to love freely and unconditionally. You were much braver than I could ever be in that aspect and when I encounter moments where I am tested that way, I think of you.. "What would she do?"

I wish all your dreams keep coming true. You deserve them. I dream that we will take part of each other's life again one day, in the meanwhile.

Love always,
C

Integrating All Of You in Two Phrases - Thank You and I Love You

As my soul evolves and my consciousness expands, I am learning that I have yet to learn so much, and at the same time, a fire inside of me burns with more intensity on this quest of knowledge, authenticity and wholeness.  

It is no coincidence that once I set out to expand, learn and love with total intention and desire I came across Dr. John F. Demartini and his teachings.  Having considered myself a perpetual student of life, the first time I heard him speak, I heard someone speaking my language.  I felt as if I had found the teacher I had been looking for since I was seven years old.  To prepare me for this meeting, teachings and paradigm shift, the Universe brought forth to me other loving lessons which helped me integrate all that was being taught with a bit of a practical glimpse.  As Dr. Demartini expresses "things are on the way not in the way," previous events in my life and an unconventional outlook of those events allowed me to "get" him and devour every word he had to teach.  

I have expressed in two previous blogs how profound my experiences were in his signature program The Breakthrough Experience.  I participated twice and recently just finished the Demartini Method Training Program, which makes me now a Trained Demartini Method Facilitator.  The incredible insights, connections and awareness that have begun since my first Breakthrough Experience are immeasurable.  The truth is.. "To speak is to lie."  (As I have heard so many times during the training.) There are no words that do justice to what the whole experience is about.  It literally is a BREAKTHROUGH.  

On my plane ride back, I read over materials, took notes, used the Demartini Method, and listened to Dr. Demartini's CDs.  As I was landing, I closed my eyes, centered myself and asked my soul to guide me in writing a blog about what the experience was about.  What I have heard repeatedly as loud as I heard it the first time from Dr. Denise Nadler, Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator and Trainer, is THANK YOU & I LOVE YOU.

I am grateful for the experience because it deepened the certainty inside myself to serve others.  I am grateful to have learned to use a tool that can assist others to see their own magnificence by owning all parts of themselves, the ones we perceive as "good" and the ones we perceive as "bad."  I am grateful for the people that have represented support and challenge in my journey and continue to do so, for they are both forms of love manifesting itself to help me own all that I truly am.  A huge thank you to all the attendees in that room, because I felt I was amongst family - an Earthly family.  I am specially grateful to Dr. Denise Nadler who represented a big challenge to me and in doing so, this perception of her pushed me harder to want to master the Demartini Method, and to Dr. Demartini for sharing this wisdom and desiring for us to learn it and spread it to others.  To my mom, brother, sister, Josie, Deise and my daughter a heartfelt thank you for facilitating my going to the training and learning new ways to master my life and expand my soul.  And lastly but not least, I am grateful to myself for trusting the inspiring voice inside of me and following this inspiration with an open heart.  

Thank you and I love you are the only true ways to manifest what I feel inside.  

Thank You, Universe

Thank you, Universe

Thank you for the gift of embodiment,
thank you for the life that runs through my bodily veins,
thank you for the opportunity to experience the magnificent atmosphere in this planet.

Thank you, Universe.

Thank you for the countless ways I was directed back to my true path,
thank you for guiding me to unveil my many facades and become transparent,
thank you for teaching me to live in utter vulnerability.

Thank you, Universe.

Thank you for the sound of laughter that makes my heart skip a beat,
thank you for leading every second of my life to the moment of pure ecstasy,
thank you for the honor of being a mom.

Thank you, Universe.

Thank you for the lesson of receiving,
thank you for the class in appreciation,
thank you for the inspiration and clarity that move me forward.

Thank you, oh Dear Universe.

For ever in gratitude and love.

The Ones We Get To Call Friends

How often have you felt deep in your soul that someone is your friend? Hopefully, many, many times. Friends are the stars that light up our darkest days. Friends are the wind beneath our floppy wings. Friends are the extended family we chose for ourselves. Friends are the reason some of us don't need to go to therapy. Friends bring smiles to our faces, tears of gratitude to our eyes, lightness to our hearts and a big reminder that no matter how alone we feel, they are always there.

Friends are God's little workers in our lives. They do the work for us when we feel we are not enough to do it ourselves. They walk beside us on the edge of the cliff in case we slip off... They will be there to pick us up. Friends know when our smiles are hiding sad tears; they know when our "I'm okay" really means "I'm in pain." Friends are precious gems.

Friends take you as is and pay full price for you. They thrive to see you content, satisfied and fulfilled. Friends are truth bearers not brown nosers. Friends risk having an argument for the sake of being a true friend, than watch you go down the wrong path. Friends are extensions of ourselves. They reflect what we see in the mirror. Friends are our twin souls in other body-costumes. Friends are good.

Friends are all right.

Thank you, friends.

(inspired by "Yellow", a picture taken by my best-friend and sent to me via e-mail while she's in San Fran on vacation with her family)

My First Blog Award

Today I was awarded my first blog award by my very special friend, Nancy. She awarded me The Inspiration Award... So, this blog is devoted to thank her.

I thank you, my friend. You, in small subtle ways, have made a huge difference in my life. Simply, by just believing in me and accepting me, you have helped me believe and accept myself. Thank you for seeing me the way you do. I am my own worst critic, and it grounds me to know that by simply doing what I have to do to get by everyday, I inspire you.

Because of your award and a conversation with someone else earlier this morning, I realized that I am exactly where and whom I am supposed to be. I have decided to dedicate my life helping others achieve their highest potentials, because nothing is impossible. How will I do that? I don't really know. I do know that it will come to me, just like everything else has made its way to me my whole life. I think I have finally accepted the final challenge. This is it. It is what it is.

This award encourages me to keep writing and spilling my guts about me and my everyday life. If I can inspire you by just being me, then, I feel extremely accomplished and very humbled to have touched you.

You rock, soul-sista!

A Rose to a Rose

As Reported In The SF Chronicle

If you read the front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle on Thursday, Dec 15, 2005, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.

The fifty-foot whale was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her her tail, her torso and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her - a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around - she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate in the New Year -to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you.

And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

Today, my hairdresser came to my house to do my hair because she knows I am unable to drive to the salon, due to my leg. She knows how anal I am about my hair and nails. She came, did my hair, and charged me nothing. She said to me when she was done "no way, i was going to let you feel ugly when so much has happened to you already, it's my pleasure."

I am so grateful for countless blessings in my life, today was just an example. It may be something insignificant to some people, but it means the world to me that people care about me and go out of their way to help make me feel better.

Like today, my life has been filled with simple, genuine moments like this one. Unexpectedly, angels make themselves visible to remind me that they are always around. There is an enormous list of people to whom I can write endless thank you's, today it goes to Rose, my hair dresser.