This morning, she slept in my arms. I left her there. We sat in the living room and as I looked at her, a glare from the sun light hitting the lake came through my window. The light hit us both and, for a moment, I saw nothing else. There were only she and I. No furniture, no TV, no paintings on the wall, no shades, no toys, nothing else. The light enveloped us. I NEVER felt so much love towards someone in my entire life. I watched her breathe and sleep so peacefully. I teared up in gratitude. Anastasia has not only made my life a lot more vibrant, but she teaches me everyday to be a better person. She teaches me to be patient, loving, and understanding.
Anastasia has taught me that I'm okay. No matter what I've done, what I do or what I will do, she has shown me that I am also loved. Just like the way I love her. I, now, understand and feel my mom. I see her in my own actions towards my daughter. There is no greater love. It takes being a mother to know what being a mother takes. Actually, being a mother is a gift. It's the hardest career with the best fringe benefits. This little human has inspired me in so many ways. To her, I will always be grateful. I have never felt love the way she has brought it into my life. It's a radiating light that emanates from deep within me.
When I first heard the news of her coming into my life, she was already named. I googled Anastasia to find out its meaning. It is a name of Greek origin that means RESURRECTION. That is exactly what she has done to me. She has made me feel alive again. I am in love with my daughter.
