Of course my thoughts about what my own bucket list would be began back when I watched the movie "The Bucket List." You'd think my accident and my many brushes with The Grim Reaper would prompt me to begin one a long time ago; but, no. Perhaps it was because writing down everything I'd like to do challenged the self-defeating belief I had about myself that there were somethings that I probably would never do again. As this year started, I began to think of things that would challenge me not only physically, but psychologically as well. In 2010, when I started this blog, the only thing on my list was to write and get published. I was recovering from a freak-accident femur fracture that left me psychologically scarred for a long time, well, until very recently.
After Anastasia's arrival, I began to once again entertain the thought of 100% independence and as she grows as fast as the speed of light (it seems), I realize that my heart cries aloud to participate in every activity with her. So, my bucket list started out as a TO DO list in order to reclaim my independent life so that I could share it all with my daughter. Then, slowly, this TO DO list began to grow and it is no longer comprised of short term goals, but long term goals too. As someone who starts projects and struggles to finish them, this list has made the difference in my everyday living. I only do those things that will get me closer to either my short term or long term goals. Everything else.. well, it's not that important right now.
Looking at my goals and things that I strive to accomplish on paper inspires me to keep on moving forward. Towards last year's end, I read a quote that said "People spend more time planning their vacations than planning their lives." I think this was the sentence that brought that awareness to my life. I wanted to live my life with purpose again. No more feeling disempowered by self-limiting beliefs that were birthed out of fear. Although I still feel fear, I now challenge it. It has become a little game in my head. I treat my anxieties as opportunities to rise above my preconceived notion about myself and other people sometimes. So far, this approach has worked great and the possibilities are endless.
In the future, perhaps, I will include the bucket list itself as part of the blog. For now, I rather keep it to myself. Once I feel the time is right, I will post all the things that make up the list and future ones that I will eventually think of as time progresses.
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