Sweet Beautiful Truth

It still blows my mind how easy it is to live in denial of somethings. How easy it is to inject other people's expectations of you into your own set of expectations of yourself and end up feeling resentful and frustrated. Regardless who it is we are subordinating to, we end up feeling as if things will only work out depending a certain external outcome. What a pile of ...

Yesterday, my beautiful friend Sylwia (the one I write the blogs about living my element) and I spoke for over two hours. We are finishing our 12 sessions of holistic nutrition coaching (which I'll write the final blog when we do) and the talk was supposed to be about that topic. Instead, we started speaking about ideas for my book launching party, logistics, etc.. I was feeling overwhelmed and credited all that is going on to the overwhelmingness (made up word).. Specially the perceived financial strain I've been complaining about lately.

As our conversation went on, Sylwia began to pick up on my irritability and dug deeper to get to the core of the real issue. After a long, strenuous push to get me to break through some mental blocks, I had my A-HA moment. I blurted out exactly what it was that was literally boiling inside of me. So much so that as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I was washed over by a heat wave.

Recognizing the seed of the problem was absolutely liberating, today has been like a brand new day, on the same token, I was left with a couple of questions.. Why was I afraid to admit to myself what I was feeling? Why did I allow myself to subordinate to the values of this person so much that I was afraid to speak "badly" about them? .. It really makes me think and wonder. I preach so much about authenticity and I knew something was bothering me, I knew it was generally about money, but the fact that I got specific to what I was pissed off about regarding the money situation was I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E!

This mini-epiphany has become an open door to huge questions of self-exploration.. What else can I get very specific about in my life and pin-point exactly what is that supports me or challenges me – down to the tiniest details. How pretty incredible that would be.

All I can say right now is that everyone would be extremely lucky to have a Sylwia in their lives. She's my beautiful Polish soul-sister who teaches me more about me than she can ever imagine. I love her so dearly. Ironically the source of all my spite yesterday is exactly what brought her into my life!