Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

After much thought, I have decided to write you this letter. It has been sitting in a small corner of my mind and heart yearning to get out while I fought the urge to write it. As the new year arrived, I decided to approach life as if each day was my last day on Earth. With this new approach and perspective, many things have changed and shifted. One of them being my entanglement with you.

As I celebrate the 6th year anniversary of my "alive day", I ponder on the valuable lessons that have come since that fateful night. I must say that there is not one lesson, thought or feeling that does not include you. My intention with this letter is a very simple one. I only want to express to you something that I think I have failed to mention throughout these six years in two simple words:  THANK YOU.

Recently, from third party channels, I heard that you were expecting. My instant reaction was to pick up the phone and call you and rejoice with you the fact that you were going to take the most wonderful journey of your entire life.... motherhood. In that same split second, my memories traveled back to our high school days which were filled with girlish promises of being each other's maid of honor and godmothers to our children.. I remembered what you wrote on my yearbook that you didn't want to open it up and show to your kids who your best-friend was, you wanted them to meet her in person. At the same time, while reliving those distant memories, I remembered the first time I held my own daughter in my arms and wished for you to be there. I wished for you to meet her and see how she brought out in me the same qualities you did: determination, self-assurance and love.

As our words have grown harsher with each other with each communication we exchange, I still want you to know that in my heart you will always live as a friend, a confidant, family, a soul sister. All of that which you think of me is true, the good and bad. I am reverent in repeating, however, that because of our harsh words and your bluntness to expose my truth, I found IT. I found the truth inside of me. The one I worked so hard to hide all the time. The one I secretly admired from you. The one you never shone away from. The courage to be authentic with yourself and with others always. It took me a little more than 35 years, but I think I'm on my way now.

If tomorrow was my last day on our beautiful planet, I'd want you to know that you will always be one of the most important people in my life. You played a pivotal role in shaping the person I am today and I thank you truly for that. I love you dearly still and will always pretend that one day we will meet each other for coffee and talk about our lives, kids and future dreams as if we were just picking up from yesterday. If tomorrow was my last day, I'd want to say to you that I always admired your courage to love freely and unconditionally. You were much braver than I could ever be in that aspect and when I encounter moments where I am tested that way, I think of you.. "What would she do?"

I wish all your dreams keep coming true. You deserve them. I dream that we will take part of each other's life again one day, in the meanwhile.

Love always,
C