It has been a reoccurring theme in my life for a long while.. A constant uncertainty of what to do next, how to be aligned and congruent to what I have learned I passionately love so much, abd find a way to carry out what I feel is my calling with confidence and ease. Even the smallest decisions carry a lot of weight, maintaining poise and focus to what's life-affirming to me requires many hours of self reflection and carrying out my mission demands an incredible amount of courage. As awareness expands in all multi-dimensional directions, I feel responsibility grows. I'm discovering my infinite self in a finite world and uncertainty is creeping up.
I learned a great mantra on Wednesday as I had my first session with a Bowen practitioner, "I accept all of life with ease, joy & glory." Wonderful, isn't it? I'm to say it 10 times in the morning and 10 times at night. Last night, as I tried to say it 10 times, I felt a blockage. Something inside of me fighting against the words and actually throwing a tantrum everytime I repeated the mantra. Easier this morning. And, I feel it will be almost effortless tonight. I also learned that as an infinite being... All things are possible. That resonated deeply with me. I'm capable of anything.
As I hold on to my new found glimpse of hope to get over this internal struggle I've been going through, something inside of me reassures me that it's all part of the plan. Just show up. I keep hearing. That's what I'll do. Changes are on their way. I've felt it before, I feel them now. I trust more, this time. And, as I write this blog, I feel the uncertainty starting yo wain off into thin air. As if I looked it dead in the eye in a duel and challenged it to keep going. It surrendered by throwing in a white towel. I've made a decision. I'm showing up.
2 comments:
I soooooo connect as always...within a week, I have plabs to go to British Columbia next year , prob late summer...need to sell alot of artwork, and save money....I never thought I'd be doing the things I am doing now in my life with my MS, and all because I surrendered ti IT, and opened myslef up to all of Life...I too go thru exactly what you have described each time there is a huge change on the way and awareness. !!!! I can't wait to hear more about it !!! Thank you for being in this world, and posting "my" thoughts...AMAZING !!! I am headed for Kelowna BC next yr....Paradise !!! : )
Wow, Gina! I thank you for the confirmation in your comment that ALL things are possible.. It's like the text the flying trapeze I posted before. Perhaps, the rate that I'm changing trapezes is so fast that I "feel" this uncertainty more often, but I have realized that it's because I'm leaping on to the next best thing more quickly. <3
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