It's been a long December...

Last year was a good year. I accomplished a lot in 2009. I got my car, which provided me with a great sense of freedom. I never knew I loved to drive so much. I overcame many other hurdles that were still impeding my full independence. I reconnected with old friends, made new ones, who have been added blessings to my life. I made my peace with prayer... (This is a subject for another blog). I also found out that I am a great candidate to walk with ARGO braces, which made me very excited. It was, indeed, a good year.

For most of 2009, I worked towards preparing my body to be able to walk with ARGO braces. Let me start from the beginning... It appears that when they pulled me out of the car from my accident, my left knee was dislocated. It stayed broken for almost 4 years. My tibia was displaced about 40% from the femur, and my leg did not straighten out all the way. I made the decision to have a total knee replacement (tkr). On November 10, 2009, I submitted myself to the surgery. It was a complete success. After a 7-day hospital stay, I returned home to continue my recovery.

On a sunny Sunday, December 13, one day before my first out-patient therapy session, where I would try out my braces for the first time, I sat on my bed changing clothes and as I took off my shirt, I lost my balance and leaned forward. The weight of my body was too much for the way my left leg was positioned, suddenly, I heard a loud craaaaack. Unbeknown to me, I snapped my left femur like a twig. It broke in half right above the knee implant. I thank goodness for the fact that I cannot feel pain, otherwise, I would have fainted, I am sure. My body, though, reacted to the fracture by going into shock. Little subtle signs that I have learned to read when something is not going quite as planned.

In denial, I stayed with a broken femur for a week, before I woke up the following Friday with my leg the size of a tree trunk, and completely deformed. I rushed to my doctor's office. The moment he looked at my leg, his face said it all... I felt as if an elephant sat on my heart. One glance at the x-ray and he admitted me to the hospital immediately. The surgery was scheduled for the following Monday.

Lucky me, the staff remembered me from the previous month's surgery and they were great. The day of the surgery arrived and I had two days to prepare myself mentally for what they were going to do. They were going to place a metal plate on the outer part of the femur and add tibial struts (bone transplant from cadaver bone) to my femur to reinforce its density (being paralyzed causes me to lose bone density -osteoporosis). I remember them waking me up in the middle of the surgery, because my blood pressure dropped tremendously. I looked up at the monitor and it read 64/49. I lost a substantial amount of blood in the surgery, and when I heard the concern in the doctor's voices, I began to pray. I thought that was it. I prayed for God to allow my family to be in peace with me going, for them to look in the bright side - no more hospital trips! I also prayed that someone I knew, that had already passed on, to be waiting for me on the other side, I feared to transition alone. While praying, I heard the drilling sounds and felt the tugs on my leg.

Well, I made it through the surgery (obviously)! Nevertheless, for the next 10 days, I received about 3L of blood, pretty much half of my blood supply. My leg was enormous and they feared I would end up with a blood clot. They could not give me anti-coagulant shots, because I would not stop bleeding internally. That is how I spent Christmas. To lift my spirits, however, my fantastic family gathered together and spent Christmas with me in my hospital room. It was actually very nice; quiet and nice. On December 30, I was allowed to go home. My body started to react and the healing process began. New Year's Eve was wonderful. I lied in my bed and thanked the Heavens for all my blessings. I was so happy to be alive still.

I, still feel as if December has not ended... I have a couple of more months of recovering. My leg needs to be immobilized until I hear otherwise from the doctor, who has incessantly asked me to please behave and treat my body as a porcelain teacup. For these next two months, that is what I will be, a porcelain teacup, behaving herself.

Through this period, my mind has gone through a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes it found places so dark that it took all of my strength and will to find the light again. It was especially tough in the beginning, when I felt like I was starting all over again. It is still hard, I still need help to do most tasks, since my leg cannot bend, but I know that it's only temporary, and I am not really starting over. It is just another bump on my journey. After hitting bottom from this experience, I recollected myself and remembered that instead of asking "why me?" I should really be asking "why not me?"

Anyway... I miss my daily activities.. until then.. there's always lots of blogging!