A Little Help Goes A Long Way...

This is the thing... I'm on a mission to attend an incredible intensive training on public speaking given by the world's leading expert, Andy Harrington.. The training is in London and in order for me to afford travel, accommodation, food, transportation and the training itself I need $9,000.00.

I know it sounds like a lot, but if 1000 people donated $9.00.. I'd get to my goal.

I would love your help and assistance to get me across the pond (from Florida to the UK) and attend this training.  Donate, spread the word, donate some more and spread the word some more.. It's that simple. :)

"...Expect a shift..."

We all know about life's ups and downs, and as I still learn every day and every time I'm face to face with a situation, person or event that challenges me at my core, it all happens for a reason.  It's all feedback.

In the recent past, I was presented with a very powerful event.  Immediately, I allowed my fight/flight/freeze syndrome to take over and acted on impulse.  It challenged every single major value of my life, this event – even more than my automobile accident in 2006.  In the following weeks, I began to work on myself and take personal inventory to gain a broader and perspective of why I had attracted such event.

Since then, as quickly as I find an answer to one or two questions I set out myself to pursue, I'm bombarded with an ever greater amount of questions, and with the assistance of incredibly wise people which I'm very privileged to be acquainted with, I've been able to put myself through a "mini boot-camp" and dissolve major fears and guilts in regards to my present, past and future.

In the middle of this pushing and pulling, a-has and huh(s)?, subtle shifts have occurred.  From gaining confidence in my ability to respond to my 2 year old's typical 2 year old behavior to my relationship with money, health, personal friends and family, increase of mental abilities, spirituality and vocational opportunities... I'm once again inspired to live my life in function of what drives me and fuels me to get up each morning.

The 1st kick in the butt (the challenging event) to my resolution to debunk preconceived notions and attain a higher level of awareness within my own life was in fact a much needed kick in the butt.  The 2nd was to hear from my dear friend and soul-sister who lives across the pond in London to take responsibility and accountability of everything that has been going on with me – get out of the victim mentality.  So, I have been in this boot camp of mind/body/soul for 2 weeks already.  The shift is not so subtle anymore.  It's palpable.

As evidence that it is palpable, a colleague who lives in Australia reached out to me last week.  He sent me a message that left me speechless and covered with goose bumps.  He told me about a session he had with a client in which he experienced love in its whole.  He was completely moved by the experience and at that moment he thought of me and heard the words, "...Expect a shift."

As I acquaint myself more about quantum mechanics, universal laws and the application of both, the more I understand the theory of quantum entanglement.  One may simply assume that the message I received by my colleague was a simple coincidence, except that the client he worked with broke through lop sided perceptions of fears and guilts similar to the ones I am breaking through myself (and my colleague had no idea I had been going through the self-imposed mind/body/soul boot camp).

What started as a boot camp to "improve" one area of my life, has expanded into the other areas and has allowed me to be more present, connected, certain and ever more grateful for my life's purpose.

Although I am taking a break from the social media world, and focusing on my highest values, I felt inspired to share this story because:

1. It is never too late to take a self inventory and really find out what's blocking you to get what you want in life
2. Nothing is for free.. without work (on yourself) there will be no shift
3. You attract that which you think about the most (fear, guilt, desires, dreams)
4. Planning your life is an incredible opportunity to discover and create infinite realities which concretize according to your relationship with yourself

Lastly, I shared because although I intend to inspire some of the readers, I wanted to put it in writing for my own benefit of re-reading it and reminding myself why the necessity of my hard work.

Lots of love and wisdom to all of you..

As Henley puts it, you are "...the master of [your] fate, captain of [your] soul."

Speak Out or Shut The F.. Up!

• Doesn't it feel liberating to express yourself without the constraints of externally and internally super-imposed values?  
• Don't you breathe better once you go through the motion of your feelings and allow your actions follow through aligned with the exact message you want to convey?
• Isn't it empowering to see that you can inspire someone else simply by expressing and communicating your own truth?

From personal experience and an incredible amount of reading, learning and observation, I have found that there is a huge value for me to communicate and express myself freely in the world.  I can even say that I was born to master that art and in turn inspire others to do the same.  I began tapping into that truth the moment I could not speak due to a complication in my trachea.  During those silent four months, an unrelenting desire to expose my epiphanies, lessons, journey and fears arose inside of me and I understood then the power of reaching the masses through authentic communication.

Throughout my journey, I have not always been 100% authentic.  Prior to finding myself fighting for my life, I was sucked into the world of "deny the negative" and overdose on the positive.  What it did was stray me away from my life's purpose.  I succumbed into the hype of thinking that expressing myself negatively in any way made me less than ______, labeled me as a nag, unhappy, unaccomplished and unlovable.  No matter what, I wore a smile.  I turned my negativity into passive-aggressiveness and disconnected with "me."

In 2010, I discovered the world of personal development (previously called self-help) and saw that a lot of the hype in the P.D world was still mainly about "the search for happiness, perfection and positivity."  Then, in 2011, I was introduced to Universal Laws.  During that introduction, I felt as if for the first time in my life, someone was speaking my language.  It was practical, scientifically proven, and applicable in everyday life.  Most importantly, this life-altering seminar did not suggest that I discard my negative side, but also learned to love it as much as I love the positive side.  Instead of labeling the negative as "bad and destructive", there was a new paradigm created.  As I learned to integrate this new way of thinking in my everyday life, I discovered that honoring the negative in me helped me feel more whole and in tune with myself.  I felt equilibrated and empowered.

No longer was I afraid of speaking my truth, expressing it in writing or simple everyday actions.  I no longer needed permission to be ME – fully!

So, I ask you this...

• Are you afraid to speak out?
• Do you fear that you will not be loved because of the way you think?
• Are you scared to be ridiculed?
• Would you love to communicate freely without feeling any of the above?

Tattoo Virgin No Longer

My beautiful, long thought out, well crafted tattoo is done! Well, it's missing one flower, which I'll get in two weeks, but the original idea is finished... I am so happy with it!

6 1/2 years ago I never thought that I'd celebrate my accident, the trials, challenges, and all the changes that took place by permanently inking my body as a reminder of how grateful I am for what I have been through, for the people that have been catalysts in the metamorphosis of my soul and my ability to get through it and see the impeccable, ravishing perfection behind it all.

Not many can truly understand what I mean, but I gave up a while back trying to convince people.  I decided to let my deeds speak for themselves.  Some still don't understand, and I get it.  I understand that that is more a projection of them than of me.  There is a handful of very special people, however who are also represented in my arm masterpiece (a bit of modesty) whose support equilibrated all the times I felt lonely and abandoned by the ones I "expected" would understand the most.

Without further ado.. Here is the final piece!

Infinite gratitude to Vincent Moisdon from Colorfast Studios!! (The true artist behind my piece)

The meaning behind it:  Each flower represents one or more people who played a pivotal role in my life thus far (helping shape me by support or challenge), the gladiolus (the middle pink/yellow flower) represents my daughter and I'm the humming bird (the only bird with legs that does not walk) kissing her flower (in the middle of the entire bouquet, since every flower's nectar has kept it flying with grace and poise). 

September - Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Month

Did you know that September is Spinal Cord Injury Awareness (SCI) Month?

Last month I had the pleasure of writing a guest blog for a non-profit organization, BACKBONES.  The blog was called Stare, But Don't Compare. 

In 2009, Reveca Torres founded BACKBONES. Reveca is a C5 quadriplegic who was injured in a car accident while on vacation at the age of 13. BACKBONES exists to provide one-on-one support for individuals with a spinal cord injury (SCI) and their families. They’re making connections to others with a similar injury and interests via telephone, in-person, or web to encourage sharing of experiences and ideas. 

BACKBONES also hosts fun, dynamic events that get people with and without SCI together for support, education, awareness and a good time! For example they have held fashion shows, wine tastings, 5Ks and more. In honor of Awareness Month BACKBONES has designed a Scavenger Hunt in two cities (Portland, OR and Chicago, IL). Each participating team gets a wheelchair and needs to navigate the city on wheels!

BACKBONES is proud to have so many individuals with SCIs making an impact and helping others living with SCIs. These volunteers and board members know how important the power of connecting with others and highlighting ABILITY, truly is. 

 In honor of SCI Awareness Month, BACKBONES has set an ambitious fundraising goal of $10,000 by September 30. Can you help by contributing $15 today? If so, click here. 

If you can’t contribute you should consider volunteering, or joining them at an upcoming event.

I know first hand how important peer-to-peer connections are for people living with an SCI and I am glad that BACKBONES is out there carrying out their mission.

Join me in making a contribution this month to bring SCI Awareness everywhere we can!!! 

2 Around The Corner

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” - Albert Einstein

That's exactly how I feel about the past year.  It literally seems like it was yesterday I was planning my princess' first birthday.  I couldn't yet wrap my head around that my life had been changed so much by the arrival of my little angel.  She's turning 2...  

As her personality develops and she becomes more expressive each day, I'm in utter awe of her as a whole.  I am incredibly grateful to be her mother, and have the honor to participate in her upbringing.  She teaches me so much every single day.  

The impact of her on my life is beyond what I ever imagined it could be.  A whole new realm of understanding, love, inspiration and gratitude opened up and it has brought with it a feeling of absolute wonderment at how everything is possible. 

This is a short post.  A quick note to share and leave as a reminder how much I love and appreciate my love bug! Perhaps years from now, I will read it and understand that time has already started flying by for me, my pretty girl is the reason it is happening. 

Happy 2nd Birthday, Princess!! 

Is Tattoo Taboo?

This past Sunday, I met with two friends for lunch.  As I parked my van and began to transfer to my wheelchair from the driver's seat, my friends Nancy and Uriel waited outside the front passenger door staring at my arm through the tinted window.  As the back passenger door opened for my ramp to deploy, I casually asked them, "Is it noticeable?"

Of course it was a joke.  I could see Nancy's bewildered look as her eyes hardly moved away from my brand new tattoo.

A little history first...

About six years ago, while I lay in a hospital bed that had been set up for me in my brother's condo, I turned to television to desperately escape my own reality at the time, and used it as my only form of distraction.  I watched TV 12-15 hours a day.  I had been discharged from the hospital for about a three months, and aside from dealing with the news that I was permanently paralyzed, I was dreadfully trying to come to terms with the complications that developed in my trachea, which left me voiceless and breathing from a tracheotomy tube for four months.  It was a very trying time to say the least.  Having run out of options on what else to watch, I surrendered to the marathon re-runs of the tattoo shop on Miami Beach, Miami Ink (which is actually called Love Hate Tattoo Studios).  From first watching the episodes absent-mindedly, I began to see a pattern in the people who were chosen to be filmed.  The majority of them brought meaning to the tattoo they had chosen for themselves.  It was not just a permanent way to decorate the skin.   I also became very acquainted with the staff and their business and personal dramas.  After the second day of watching the re-runs, I remember thinking... One day when I can laugh at all this, I'm getting a tattoo as well.  Even though I clearly remember thinking the phrase "laugh at all this," I didn't mean it literally.  I meant it as "one day when I'm fond of having gone through this experience."  Ninety-nine percent sure that this "fondness" would never occur, I made that promise.  

In 2008, I remember asking one my dearest friends, Lily, to paint a picture for me.  After going through some of her fantastic art, I wanted a painting done by her.  I knew she had not painted in a while, and my asking would perhaps inspire her to do it again.  When I asked about the painting, she said she would paint me a hummingbird.  What?  I thought disappointedly.  A bird?  But, I gracefully asked her why a hummingbird, when I was so infatuated with her other paintings involving the female body.  She explained the reason to me and I was immediately intrigued with the idea.  (You can read Like A Humming Bird for further info on this topic).  After her explanation and my appreciation for the metaphor, I remembered wanting to get a tattoo.  

Here I am today.  With an amazing piece of art on my upper right arm.  I don't even know if it can be called a sleeve, although I have used the word sleeve to describe it.  I am not knowledgeable about tattoo terminology, but I know how to appreciate incredible art when I see it.  At first, I was trying to get a high school friend who I later found out works at Love Hate, but with his hectic schedule, it was impossible to coordinate a time with him.  On a previous lunch date with Nancy and Uriel, I told them about my desire to get a tattoo and being unable to connect with our mutual friend for its execution; I had arrived at a final concept for it which carried an enormous significance for me and was very eager to get it done.  Uriel told me about the artist who taught our mutual friend how to tattoo.  So, after making an appointment, I went to meet Vince Moisdon at his shop, Colorfast Studios, and talk about my idea.

Vince listened and told me that he was interested in doing it, except that he had a 6-8 week waiting period, which made me feel relieved because it gave me time to grow a pair of ... to endure the pain.  He said he would call me once the sketch was done.  I don't know how long it took from our initial meeting to finally get a call from him.  When he called I had even forgotten who he was.

"Your sketch is ready?  Want to come by and see it?" He said on the other end of the line as my mind spun out of control.

I can't really explain how I felt at the  moment, but the following things went through my mind very rapidly (not in this particular order):

• F'n A!  I am getting a TATTOO!!!
• WOW, it's been six years since I first thought about it and it's finally coming true!
• What if I don't like the sketch?  Will I have the guts to tell him?
• I understood that I wasn't laughing about all I had endured, and captured the feeling of gratitude for my life.
• Is it going to be painful?
• Should I use my leg or my arm?
• How will my daughter react?
• Will I like it?

Before I knew it, I was at his studio, speechless staring at his artistic depiction of my abstract idea.  I was surprised at its size, but even more dumbfounded at how the drawing surpassed my wildest expectations.  I decided I wanted to place it somewhere on my body that was always visible to me.  Fighting the urge to chicken out from the pain and have it done on my leg where I have no sensitivity, I assertively picked my right upper arm.

When I got home, I was extremely infatuated with the piece and kind of wanted to tell the world about it, but held back.  The few people I told gave me mixed opinions, which only encouraged me more to go through with it.  The pain factor was what intimidated me the most.  After seeing the sketch, I also googled Vince's name.  What I found did not surprise me one bit.  The sketch is worthy of being framed and displayed on its own, black and white (although the tattoo is in color).

What I found was an interview of Ami James (owner of Love Hate Tattoos - Miami Ink) where he named the top 5 tattoo artists in Miami.   The article, Miami's Best Tattoo Artists - Ami James, was written by Leila Brillson of REFINERY29, and Vince Moisdon's name was on the list along with Federico Ferroni, Chris Garver, Troy Lane, and Luiz Segatto.

My beautiful piece of ink is still in the process of being finished and when it does, I will post pictures.  They say that it only takes one tattoo to get addicted.  I didn't believe it until I was having mine traced and glimpses of the next one started coming alive in my head... The story for that one will warrant a follow-up blog.  I hope Vince is inspired to do that one as well when the time comes.

First 2 Sessions...

I went, I fell, I conquered...

I fell backwards in my wheelchair yesterday.  Although, I learned the tricks of falling and getting back up on all 4 wheels 4 years ago, I always feared falling backwards.  Not because of the embarrassment, merely because I am not too fond of breaking bones, getting bruises or head concussions.  

As we celebrated the 4th of July at a park, an event which I debated attending for a couple of days, I turned my head and saw that my daughter was playing behind me.. I backed my wheelchair while at the same time turning around to place myself where I could get a clear view of where she was at all times.  The whole in the grassy area behind me failed to tell me that I was going into it with my right rear wheel.  

As the wheel took the dip, I leaned forward and held on to my wheels to balance myself back as much as I could, which was probably 4-5 seconds, but felt like 10-15 minutes.  I remembered then, "Well it's grass, and no one will get to me fast enough to prevent my fall.  So I let go of the wheels, tucked my body forwards and flipped backwards.  

I almost yelled... "Oh My God! I can't feel my legs!"  However, before I could make light of the situation, I saw about 20 heads hovering over me trying to help me.  My claustrophobia kicked in right away and remembered that while I was turning around and backing up, maybe a mili-second before the fall, I saw my sister walking back to us from the playground and she was facing me.  As I felt the dozen hands pulling and tugging at me and my chair, I quickly glanced to my right and her slow paced walk turned into a Baywatch sprint towards me.  "NOBODY TOUCH ME! TATI IS COMING. SHE WILL HELP ME!" (The capital letters illustrate a bit the volume and irritability of my voice).  As she got to me, I scooted my butt back into the seat and instructed her and my brother on how to lift me back up.  I didn't even try to get back up on my own due to the uneven surface of the grass area where we were set up.  

So I fell backwards for the first time on the Fourth of July.. I have been set free from my fear of falling backwards.  Happy Independence Day to me too.  Sorry, USA, for stealing your thunder yesterday.  No broken bones, bruises or concussions, however I do have a sprained wrist and sore neck.  My daughter replayed the fall after we got home.  And, I realized that when I fell I completely forgot about her.  So much for worrying in the first place and not trusting the other moms who were also there helping me.  Lesson learned for me.  

In hindsight, I wish we had the whole thing on film.  At the same time, I'm sure it's an event that some of the people present won't forget so soon... Nor let me live it down.